Five Love Lessons from The Bachelor

I’ll admit it, I’m one of those girls. You know the ones who shamelessly tune into season after season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette only to see the “soooooo in love” couples break up mere moments after the finale? Yep, I’m one of ’em. Go ahead and judge.

But before you go off, telling me how ridiculous the show is, let me say that yes, I know it’s ridiculous, and no, I never expect to see people find true, long-lasting love on reality TV. But I will tell you this: The Bachelor is a great source of dating advice. Did I lose you? Stay with me… Season after season a whole slew of women fight it out in the name of finding love, and dare I say that a lot of who gets “chosen” has a lot to do with common dating behavior. So in honor of Valentine’s Day this week, here are the top five love and dating lessons we could all stand to learn from The Bachelor.

1. First impressions really do matter. Yea, I’ve heard the stats about how many hours it takes to change an opinion formed in the first fifteen minutes of meeting someone, but I didn’t truly believe it until I saw The Bachelor. (Kidding.) Even if you’re not watching, I’m sure you’ve heard of the crazy that is Tierra. She had every other girl and a whole lot of bad behavior against her, but Bachelor Sean couldn’t forget that bubbly, vivacious energy he felt when he first laid eyes on her. It literally blinded him. So maybe avoid chattin’ up that guy you’d like to date if you’re inappropriately drunk. He’ll probably remember your first impression long after you will.

Tierra gets first rose The Bachelor

Image by RICK ROWELL/ABC via People

2. Stay drama-free and don’t talk crap about other girls. Most men are turned off by cattiness. Let’s take Miss “Kacie B.” as an example. A fan favorite, Kacie was known for her sweet disposition on Ben’s season. When she returned on Sean’s season she confidently told him about the behind-the-scenes drama, hoping to get ahead. Not only did Sean question why Kacie wasted her time getting involved in said drama, but he also was turned off by her behavior. He called her crazy to her face. And then he sent her home.

3. It’s good to show vulnerability. Apparently this is Bachelor Sean’s particular weakness, giving a rose to every girl who sheds a couple tears, but let’s not take his extreme case as the norm. I won’t go so far to say that every man wants to be you knight in shining armor or anything, but showing a little weakness every now and then can work in your favor. No one is infallible. Letting a man know he’s needed tends to go a long way.

Let’s not take it this far, but you get the picture…
Image by ABC via Examiner

4. Over-sharing can hinder your relationship. Being excited about a new relationship can cause you to do crazy things like making a scrapbook of every moment you’ve ever shared together (hello, Blakely), but coming on too strong too soon can cause a man to seriously pump the brakes. Sarah, although sweet and well-intentioned, brought photos from her childhood and gushed to Sean about him meeting her family. He quickly realized how much more strongly she felt for him than he for her and sent Sarah packing.

5. Get out of your comfort zone. Years of this show have shown that when a women gets adventurous with the man she’s dating, it pays off. Repelling down a mountain? Polar plunge? Mixing in a little adrenaline always results in the Bachelor feeling closer to his date.  Girly girl Selma mountain climbed her way straight into Sean’s heart. And it turned out she had a good time! I’m not suggesting you take up extreme sports, but hey, a little hike or go cart racing might be the key.

Photo by ABC via WetPaint

What life and love lessons have you learned from reality TV?


21 thoughts on “Five Love Lessons from The Bachelor

  1. Alyssa

    Haha I love this! I am a proud Bachelor fan–honestly, I don’t care that it’s shitty television and all the girls are crazy…that’s WHY I watch it! That being said, the things I see some of the girls do on this show blow my mind, especially when they actually work on a guy! I think another huge love lesson is this: when no one else can get along with the girl you like, especially other girls, it’s an issue. That happens a lot and I just don’t get how guys can be so silly!

  2. Jenn

    So I’ve never actually seen a full season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette, but some switch was flipped this month and I’ve been excitedly tuning in. It really is fun to watch, but some of those girls and their tactics drive me NUTS! So glad that Tierra got the boot!

  3. Rachel

    Very creative post! You know my feelings on the Bachelor from my previous post, but I definitely get how you can learn what NOT to do from this show. Guys HATE clingy girls and some of these women on the show are stage 5 clingers (from the few episodes I’ve seen and every tweet I see on Monday nights) and they wonder why they get voted off. Also, girls seem to get catty and mad at other girls who get attention from guys. They obviously get the attention for a reason: because they are attractive, confident, nice, etc. Instead of being jealous that the Bachelor likes another girl, maybe you should focus on improving yourself to be more like the other women he DOES like! Guys like girls who are confident and honest, not insecure!

  4. Lynn

    I’m in love with this post! I also not-so-shamelessly have been tuning into The Bachelor… it’s addicting! Great tips 🙂

    XO Your Lifestyle Upgrade

  5. Kate

    Haha, I am definitely one of “those” girls, too! Fortunately for me, it falls at the exact same time my guy goes off to basketball, so I can happily sit by myself and watch all the drama go down without feeling bad for forcing him to sit through two hours of it every week! I love your love lessons list, you’re spot on about so many things! And I’m so glad Tierra is finally gone-zo. She was a total nutbar!

  6. Susie

    I totally tune into The Bachelor/Bachelorette season after season, and you are definitely right about the stuff you can learn NOT to do in dating from the show – I often find myself wondering what on earth these women are thinking!

    Sea and Swank

  7. Shanna Johnson

    Okay, I love this post. Because it’s so true! And I, too, have just this season become a devoted Bachelor fan. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stop watching it this season. BTW—Boooooo for the spoiler alert about Tierra, I still haven’t had a chance to watch last night’s episode. BUT—I’m not heartbroken. I hated her. I know that’s harsh, but I did. I hate girls like her, and the fact that she is now gone makes me very happy. LOL! Can’t wait to catch up on what I missed!


  8. Head to Toe Chic

    I keep hearing so much about this season of the bachelor! i haven’t watched it since the very first season but I think I need to give it another try soon!


  9. Olivia

    I love watching The Bachelor too! There’s always those awkward moments when the girls share too much too soon & I start yelling at the TV.. “WHYYYYY DID YOU JUST SAY THAT!?” haha Great post!

    xo Olivia
    This Looks Good On You

  10. Jen {Pearls and Lace}

    Hahaha ok I have to confess I’m totally loving this season and this week’s episode was awesome! Love your tips, they’re so true!

    Ps. Fantastic choice Tiera (not sure if that’s how to spell her name) crying lol

    xo jen

  11. Pingback: Life Lessons from The Bachelor: The girl with no girlfriends | Fizz and Frosting

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