I had a really hard time writing this, probably because it comes from such an honest place. And I know that when it comes down to it, I really don’t have anything to complain about. I have a job with a solid company, a wonderful, supportive family, and a husband who loves me dearly. I have friends, food, a home, and more than enough money to get by. So I feel stupid for feeling this way, but right now, I do.
Maybe it’s because I’ve come so accustomed to instant gratification. Want that shirt? No problem. Two clicks and a couple days later, it magically appears at my doorstep. Waiting seems to be nearly non-existent these days, right? Or maybe it’s because I’m just being entirely too hard on myself. I expect a lot, maybe the best. Am I spreading myself too thin? Or am I not pushing myself hard enough? Regardless of the reason, I feel frustrated.
Frustrated that I’m not doing what I want career-wise. Frustrated that I don’t have the exact answer of what I want to be doing. Frustrated that I haven’t met the goals I thought I would have at this point. Frustrated that so-and-so seems to have it all figured out. Frustrated that I’m not giving my all to whatever. Frustrated that I’m wasting my time with these feelings.
Please don’t get me wrong, rationally I know how silly I’m being. I get it. I know that comparing myself to other people is stupid and a gigantic waste of time, but hey, I’m human. Most likely, one of my friends out there is thinking I’m the one who has it together. (Ha!)
I’m not trying to have a pity party. I know I don’t deserve any sympathy, nor am I looking for it. This is just something I needed to get out, to release, and to let go. Honestly, I’m already feeling better.
I’m so glad you wrote this–so many people (myself included!) feel the same way. You feel like you need to have it all together and figured out, but the truth of the matter is, good things take time to fall into place. I try to remind myself that a lot, because life as a twenty-something IS frustrating: job-wise, friend-wise, life-wise…we’re in this together though. You are definitely not alone 🙂
Must be something in the water…I feel you! At least once a year for the past few years I’ve had a moment of WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE AND HOW COME IT’S ALL WORKING OUT FOR X?!?! Truth is, it’s probably not all working out for X and X thinks you have it all together! It is incredibly frustrating – to be this age and not know what we want to do with our lives? How could we not have figured it out by now?! But we haven’t…I definitely haven’t. I think it’s always good to be taking a step back, examining where we are and figuring out the next step. We’ll get there one day, Lauren! 🙂
You are not alone, Lauren! I am grateful that I have a job, friends and a boyfriend, but I still feel frustrated with certain aspects of my life as well. Hardly anyone has the perfect job (even if they work with celebrities, work in fashion, or play with puppies all day), people just project that their life is awesome when it really isn’t. Just keep doing what you are doing, and when you least expect it things might just turn around. That’s what I tell myself, at least!
You are definitely not alone. We all have times when we feel like we’re in a rut, like you’re just standing still while everyone else seems to be moving forward. No one’s life is perfect and we all have struggles. I think you just have to know that you are doing your best!
I don’t think you’re being silly at all! I completely relate to this post. I think if you let yourself think about this 24/7 you’d drive yourself crazy, but having sometime to sit and reflect and letting yourself react and feel is one of the best things you can do. If you didn’t, how would you know where you stand with yourself?
I completely feel the same way Lauren! I loved Alyssa’s response too. Ugh I think the worst part about it is feeling guilty for feeling the way I do. I know I’m so fortunate to have a well paying job and all that jazz but at the end of the day, if it’s not what I want, I’m not happy! And I hate feeling guilty about that. But you’re definitely not alone girl and I think the day will come that we are both doing something we love (oh god, I hope!). 🙂
Kudos to you for putting this out there – and I can tell you that I totally feel this way sometimes! You are SO not alone – I don’t think I ever feel like I have it all together.
Sea and Swank
I totally understand. And hey, everyone is allowed to have feelings!! I’m glad you felt comfortable expressing them. It’s good for those of us who are going through the same thing to know we’re not alone. 🙂
You just described how I have been feeling for the past three years of my life (except for the money thing…I need more of that)! 🙂
My hatred for my job is pretty much the entire reason for my blog…and my anxiety…and my stress…etc. Ever since I changed majors to Education I have completed regretted it. The only thing that has got me through it is my believe in fate. I truly believe I will get the job of my dreams one day…don’t give up, you are definitely NOT ALONE!
Wow. You and I are so in the exact same place. I have a wonderful boyfriend, a supportive family, a reliable job so I should have nothing to complain about. But I had always thought at this age I would know what I wanted to do career-wise, I would’ve been working towards it, and I would’ve travelled a bit more than I have. Travel has always been something I’ve wanted to do but I have really almost held myself back. Sometimes it just all frustrates me so much!
I can relate on so many of those points Lauren! I try hard to be positive (it was something I told myself I was really going to focus on this year) but I always seem to be complaining about something. Much like you I have a loving family, food on the table and a roof over my head but I still feel like it’s not enough. I’m also struggling at my job right now, to be frankly honest I hate it and I’ve been thinking for a long time about quitting because it makes me miserable. Most days I feel stretched a little too thinly which may be the result of me never being able to say no to doing something. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but it will get better. I believe that life has a way of working itself out and things happen for a reason. Just remember that in that time you have a wonderful husband who’s there to support you! Most days my husband’s love keeps me going. Don’t worry love, things will work out soon enough!